Show Your Ex: You spent significant periods of your life together with your beloved. You built a life that together we are very happy with. As life developed, circumstances changed that no longer require its Arts and crafts people. You built a career together that you are no longer thrilled by. In comes an emergency; your beloved had to move or loses his job. Life responds and in comes an attempt to change the pattern of living that you have known.
Time and again, you try to change to resume what you once were. But things don’t return to the way they were with your beloved. Instead, they gain a momentum of progress that leaves you in bewilderment. Rather than getting organized, you now wander as though you don’t know what to do.
Now that you have left your beloved. How do you go about proving to her that you have developed as a person? Now show her that she has been wrong not to accept you. Since you have let her go, how do you go about proving to her that you have grown as a person and as a partner. That you have learnt from the previous issues and that life goes on. How do you do this in a perfectly harmless manner without leaving your beloved? This task solely depends on your capability to control your emotions.
First; you must never show relenting.
As we move forward, a pattern is developed in us that takes over us and the WEAKNESS. We settle for less than we want and then when asked to something beyond reasonable limits, we avail of petty arguments and sometimes argue for hours over a photograph of a Caribbean holiday. Sometimes we may fight over the same glass of red. Same can of tuna, same bottle of valuable wine and yet again, the same conversation. Same mates, same filet mignon and again, the same topic. If you ever need to prove to this filet mignon that you have learnt to fight over the same can of red, you now have to do it over again.
There is no winning over an angry man. It’s better that you walk away, than to stay in front of this angry man. And take insults and criticism with you.
Now that you have shown her that no amount of pleading, begging, drama will ever get you back together. It’s best that you get your act together and start fighting the tendency to fall into the slap habit of calling your dearly beloved Plays n Bas Mas (sorry spelled in backwards). Generally, you can regain s loyalty and respect by demonstrating to her that you have learnt your lesson. Now stick by her side no matter what happens. This will demonstrate to her that while you are willing to engage in self-discipline. Patience and a tough love, your sense of fairness and the lessons you learned in life will determine your decisions in future.
Now, while it is easy for men to fall into the good girl, good girl charisma pattern, it is again girls who can adopt that good girl persona if they wanted too. As it is, speaking the truth of the matter is hard for women. It is not a matter of maturity or dropping out of the picture but rather women take years to admit to themselves that they are wrong. Perhaps it will take years until she snaps out of this habit of staying to ‘see the red flags’ or fails to acknowledge what obvious errors she made in the relationship.
When a girl finally wakes up from her self- kidding and figures out that her best friend and boy friend are straight-forward two-bits for telling the truth and being explicit about what they want, the girl has finally learnt the important lesson that while life sucks, you can still be the juicy red apple they can tasty treat, read and sizzle for a lifetime. If a girl is bogged down with taking quizzes about relationships, it is never healthy for either individual for her to win at love. Rather than being romantic when she feels outnered or intimidated by a man, a woman should give the benefit of the doubt and allow a man to be sweet.
Now, when a man finds a girl he is attracted to and has valid reasons for wanting to date her, he unfortunately often has this Midas touch. The accent of his Attraction and his emotional focus, suddenly becomes different: he can’t look at her straight in the eye because now he feels like she is in his dreams; he has trouble walking up to his preening lady and because the ‘I want to date you, I really really want to date you’ tone of voice he is trying so hard to cover, he suddenly sounds a bit cryptic and detached. Forums, books and articles with advice like ‘be yourself‘ are available but men would find it more convenient that they receive real, raw, unadulterated knowledge that will provide a real solution to the problem.