There are weird traditions around alcohol, there are traditions that cannot be found in a single country, and then there are of course the stupid things that we continue to do out of tradition. are often a bit stupid things that no one wants to do but that we all feel obligated to follow. Here are the ones that screw us up the most.
1. Go under the table for the galette des rois
No but when did we say to each other “Hey Josiane, crazy the youngest of our 18 kids under the table like that it’s him who will tell who it is that we spill each part of the pancake, so it’s sure that it will be fairer “. Well listen, it’s an old Roman tradition so it’s been a while since we took the plunge. The question is how do you do it if the child is no longer a baby but does not yet have all the brushes in the same jar * and is not at all able to designate people?
* This expression does not exist.
2. Choose your king or queen when you have the bean
We stay in the same theme. Isn’t it a little bit the ABSOLUTE anguish when your uncle has found the bean and he chooses you to be his queen when you are 8 years old? Okay, it doesn’t always have to be like that, but overall, it’s rarely the opportunity to try a move with your crush this mess.
3. Catherinettes for girls over 25 who are still not married
Fortunately, many people do not respect this completely sexist and backward tradition which consists neither more nor less in shaming the girls of 25 years or more who are still single these big bollosses. We celebrate this on November 25, feast of Saint Catherine of Alexandria who had the bad taste of being a virgin and a martyr.
4. Kissing at midnight under a mistletoe for the New Year
Imagine finding yourself right next to a big bastard pile at that moment and suddenly having to roll a big shovel under a mistletoe when not only are you allergic to mistletoe but also the guy in question has vaginal herpes but directly on the mouth? For me that is reason enough never to celebrate the New Year.
5. Hazing at the entrance of any school
As soon as we know that there is a hazing, whatever it is, even something nonsense to inoculate an orphan disease to newcomers, it does not smell good. Badger tradition. And again, I love badgers. Personally, I have never been reassured at the idea that my surgeon is walking around naked with goat blood and a stethoscope in his ass.
6. Having to fetch Easter eggs like a jester in the garden
Can we stop with this ultra humiliating tradition in which children are forced to go dig in nettles, sometimes to go scratch in the earth to go find chocolate eggs made of palm oil? Thank you. YES I DRAMATIZE A LITTLE, so what?
7. Blow out all the birthday candles at once while you have a bad breath and you are on the verge of giving up the ghost
Already we have to type a disgusting cake whose only quality was based on the appearance now destroyed not the 12 candles planted wildly in the icing, but in addition we must pay ourselves an interstellar shame by blowing out all the candles of one shot while you smoke two packs of cigarettes a day (yeah at 12 that’s a lot, but you started in kindergarten).
8. 99% of wedding games
From the wheelbarrow to the garter, through the rotten song that everyone howls at the top of their lungs and at the end of which the bride must kiss this or that guest. All in all, on the traditional level, the bride takes serious dear. And I’m not talking about the “Believe” singer.
Come on, that’s enough now.