When you’re about to welcome your first child, the pressure is enormous. You read all the possible books on newborns, education, the miracles of grandmothers for little sores, the benefits of caring education, blablabla.
This is also the time when you will be real cash cows for all manufacturers of childcare items. You’ve been asked to share these baby marketing scams with us and your answers have been very enlightening.
1. The diaper bin
Contents
- 1 1. The diaper bin
- 2 2. Birth size clothes
- 3 3. Clothes in general
- 4 4. An automatic bottle preparer
- 5 5. The Babycook
- 6 6. Cotton swabs for babies
- 7 7. A baby wedge
- 8 8. A baby scale
- 9 9. Newborn shoes
- 10 10. A manual breast pump
- 11 11. The battery-powered baby nose blower
- 12 12. Pee guards
- 13 13. The bottle warmer
- 14 14. Diaper Bag
- 15 15. Baby perfumes
- 16 16. Completely slammed children’s books
- 17 17. The bath thermometer
- 18 18. Tub reducers
- 19 19. Toys
- 20 20. The bottle dryer
But of course ! It’s true that your kitchen trash can isn’t good enough to accommodate the diapers of the divine child.
2. Birth size clothes
No interest (unless you give birth prematurely which we do not wish you). For other babies, the 1 month size does the job very well, you just need to hem the sleeves. Come on, 30 bucks saved!
3. Clothes in general
The principle of a baby is that it grows, and quickly. That’s how we end up with a mountain of useless clothes that remains on our arm. At the time of fast fashion, this is not at all good news.
4. An automatic bottle preparer
Yes, you read correctly, it exists. I think that lazy level, there, we can not do better. Like you need a machine to put 3 scoops of powdered milk into a bottle filled with water. Thanks marketing.
5. The Babycook
Do you have a steamer for your vegetables? Do you have a blender? Well, you have a Babycook (and an extra €100 in your bank account, you’re welcome).
6. Cotton swabs for babies
The ones with a little round end, you see? Well, other than being an ecological disaster, it’s no use. A little cotton rolled up with saline, and it’s the same, if not better.
7. A baby wedge
Something to keep your baby from rolling over, rolling over, and DIE. Yeah, the marketing guys don’t go with the back of the spoon to screw up the chips. Except that a newborn wakes up in the position where he fell asleep, and when he is old enough to turn over, well, he doesn’t give a damn about your baby wedge, he turns over anyway. But don’t worry, if he knows how to turn around, he also knows how to lift his head or put it to the side to breathe. This stuff is damn good.
8. A baby scale
When you give birth, what worries everyone is the weight of your baby, and especially if he continues to grow well. We’re putting a little pressure on you with that, you have to admit. But it is still not worth investing in a baby scale, because the baby will be weighed every week by a midwife / pediatrician or at the PMI. And only the number on their scale matters, so don’t bother.
9. Newborn shoes
Explain to me the point of giving push-ups to an infant who can’t even walk?
10. A manual breast pump
Did you know that you can rent them in pharmacies, that they exist in electric mode, and that in addition it was reimbursed by Social Security? There you go, another 100 bucks saved, don’t thank me, really.
11. The battery-powered baby nose blower
I vomit.
12. Pee guards
Yes it exists. Their cool little name is pee pee teepee. When you change your baby, you can cover the risk area of this mini teepee to avoid having it in the face. It’s nice but in real life we don’t give a damn about the steaks.
13. The bottle warmer
I take here Julia’s testimony in the comments which perfectly sums up the stupidity of this object: “Hell thing that takes 40 years to heat your bottle and at the end bam! The bottle is hot, so you put it in the freezer, but you expect too much and so the bottle is cold again, hell. » I hope that is clear.
14. Diaper Bag
We are talking about a bag in which you will put all your gear to change the baby. A bag. Basically a plastic bag is the same thing in fact. Another great scam.
15. Baby perfumes
But WHAT? Like guys do they stink? Have you smoked or what, if there is one category of living beings whose natural smell we love, it’s babies.
16. Completely slammed children’s books
Sometimes there are children’s books straight out of big scammers. The guys lay three sentences like “The elephant grazes”, “the cat meows” and “The sky is blue” on cardboard pages 5 mm thick, with three rotten drawings, they sell that for 15 balls and there has a gogo who proudly offers it to you. Frankly, even one of those depressing children’s books will do better.
17. The bath thermometer
It’s okay don’t be fragile, dip your elbow in the water and it will be fixed.
18. Tub reducers
Yeah good OK it’s just a bath seat. It’s not even a safety measure for the baby (whom you never leave unattended in a bath anyway SURE SICK), no really I assure you it’s good for keud.
19. Toys
Buying toys that cost a blind and seeing that your child is talking with the living room carpet is really realizing that you have been taken for a fat pigeon. We are not saying that we should not buy him toys later but the first 6 months, forget it.
20. The bottle dryer
I don’t know who had the audacity to invent that but I say hats off.