Being single has a big advantage (it’s not at all for me that I’m saying that, nothing to do of course…), that of having the possibility of observing the life of the couples around you and their behavioral evolution in different environments. So sociological that me and my team were able to distinguish different types of couples in the maternity ward, different types of drunk couples and different types of couples, from the best to the worst. I hope for you and your +1 that you are among the best, but don’t panic, it can also be determined by how you two stand on the street. Let’s go for a little cuteness and a lot of disgust.
1. Those who hold hands
- 1 1. Those who hold hands
- 2 2. Those who just hold the riquiqui (translation for non-Angevins: little finger)
- 3 3. Those who stand by the shoulders or lower back
- 4 4. People who stick their hand in someone else’s back pocket
- 5 5. Those who do not walk at the same speed
- 6 6. Those who don’t hold each other’s necks
- 7 7. Those who hold each other by the arm
- 8 8. Those who take the whole sidewalk
- 9 9. Those who stand a meter apart
- 10 10. Those who carry themselves on their shoulders
- 11 11. Those who walk in wheelbarrows
- 12 12. Those who let go of each other’s hands as soon as they meet someone they know
- 13 13. Those who walk back to back
- 14 14. Those who stand on each other’s feet as a penguin
- 15 15. Those who walk holding the other by the belly
- 16 16. Those who stand in Fort Boyard mode
- 17 17. Those who stand by the goatee
A couple that seems banal, in short, but whose subtlety depends on the way its members hold hands. Do they have their fingers hooked together, thus giving them the status of a boring couple to embark on the collection of boxes. Or are they holding hands palm to palm like children, which forces us to say that they probably eat pasta with ketchup every night in front of Gulli. We let you continue the analysis according to your observations.
2. Those who just hold the riquiqui (translation for non-Angevins: little finger)
They want to love each other but need freedom and we understand them. There’s nothing more uncomfortable than having your fingers hurt just because neither of you wants to let go of the other’s hand first. Plus, this couple hates having sweat on their knuckles. Comfort above all. This couple will go far.
3. Those who stand by the shoulders or lower back
More tightly knit than aphids on raspberries, these individuals advance in line without ever moving aside to let people who might stand in their way pass. They have one goal: to reach their Fiat Multiplia to go home and make themselves pecan cookies while tenderly licking their tonsils.
4. People who stick their hand in someone else’s back pocket
This couple comes from a bad place and expresses their satisfaction in their own way, just to show the people around that the other is a bit of their private property. Attention, if the hand is directly in the pants, it is that they are about to ken, no matter where they are, so run to put your eyes in the shelter.
5. Those who do not walk at the same speed
Strangely, it’s always the smaller of the two who is lagging behind, running behind with his little paws. At least it helps with the cardio.
6. Those who don’t hold each other’s necks
Whether you take your partner by the neck or you wedge him/her under your elbow, in any case know that you send back a lot of toxicity. It is very likely that all the people around you will get in a bad mood without knowing why just because they passed you. Boo bad vibes.
7. Those who hold each other by the arm
This couple is so close that when one of them eats, the other receives the same amount of nutrients. They are going to piss together hand in hand and wax each other’s inter-gluteal folds. They also only know the pronouns “on” and “nous”. They only have friends as a couple and only go out to eat pancakes at their neighbours’.
8. Those who take the whole sidewalk
Impenetrable to the hardships of life and certain of their superiority over other couples, they don’t deign to part with one decimetre to let the rest of humanity pass them by. It’s the road or nothing, too bad if the others shout. When we meet them, we want to yell at them that anyway, they will divorce in less than two years.
9. Those who stand a meter apart
Realistic painting of a couple who have understood everything in life and who don’t bother with conventions. They know how to appreciate their own freedoms and that is a pleasure. They can even walk on different sidewalks, you imagine. Finally a bit of independence which also leaves them the opportunity to meet other passers-by, if you know what I mean.
10. Those who carry themselves on their shoulders
They are partying all day in their head, at home it’s the fiesta baila. When we meet them, we judge them hard but they don’t care. In fact, it’s mainly because we’re a little jealous of this perfect couple. Stop that because now I’m starting to have doubts about my marriage.
11. Those who walk in wheelbarrows
Finally people who have understood that life goes by at full speed and that you have to take advantage of every minute. They have therefore adopted a world of fast and efficient transport, ideal for not wasting time. Good on the other hand must accept to have horn on the hands what. There are necessary sacrifices.
12. Those who let go of each other’s hands as soon as they meet someone they know
A fairly recent couple who don’t assume their relationship too much and who prefer to keep their little stories secret so as not to burn each other out in case something better happens soon. We see you. Come on, it’s okay, put an end to the carnage.
13. Those who walk back to back
It’s hard to know if it’s because they can’t stand each other’s faces anymore or because they want to have their backs. Still, we don’t really want to do a ski weekend with them. Stay away.
14. Those who stand on each other’s feet as a penguin
They are the children of the couple holding each other by the arm. They sleep on a spoon every night and fly to each other to eat their mash. Don’t panic, if you want to puke when you see them, it’s the side effects.
15. Those who walk holding the other by the belly
Say like that, it doesn’t seem like much, but we’re talking about this couple who walk glued to each other by the belly and the back. Are you viewing the horror image? This couple is clearly munching on raw onions in the morning and getting socks with their Chihuahua’s face on it for Christmas. If one day you catch me planning a movie outing with them, cough on me so that I catch the flu, I beg you.
16. Those who stand in Fort Boyard mode
A small jump in the arms and hop, ready to pick up a lot of boyars and crush the designed. I wouldn’t like to be in their path.
17. Those who stand by the goatee
They love fags (clappers, of course).