This time you are sure of it. Despite all your efforts to make them acceptable and presentable in society (society often boiling down to your friends), it is clear that Mom and Dad are dangerously reaching the point of no return of being out of date. You thought you were spared, but know that this scourge is omnipresent. Short summary of the prominent signs to help you detect this virus. Because Topito is also about prevention.
1. They say “the djeuns”
And these are the only ones who still use it in a non-ironic way. This is the first warning sign of the acute and self-evident corny, if you hadn’t detected the symptom of hallucinated eyes rolling in their sockets when you have the misfortune of putting three verlan words in a single sentence.
2. They really like word games
If there was only one humor left on earth, they would choose that one. It must be said in their defense that they are doing really well and know how to surprise you on any occasion. Once, someone in that open space was innocently talking about wavy hair when his father interrupted him to come out “you have to be a cow, because cows have milk”. We might as well tell you that we know what we’re talking about.
3. Otherwise, they also love ready-made jokes.
You know, when you were still spending the New Year with your family, that you went to bed at three in the morning and therefore wished the company a warm “see you tomorrow”. In a thunderous burst of distressing laughter, you were answered “But we are ALREADY tomorrow!” », Lol lol and lolilol. But do you know what would have been a lot worse? Leave before midnight, and get the grandiose “Eeeeeh, see you next year !!” “
4. The Internet is a big mystery to them.
That they are not really trying to elucidate. Admittedly, sometimes they throw you off balance by asking you to explain the purpose of Facebook, Instagram or Snapchat, or by appearing intensely attentive when you explain the magic of copy and paste to them. But very quickly they regain their assumed indifference, you have just heard your father spell out a whole url link on the phone “no two t at https then two dots stick stick.” “
5. And, ultimately, it’s much better than if they had mastered Facebook.
Yes, because it happens to them, but always halfway. For example, they will never understand the value of private messages, and will continue without warning a conversation on your wall, still remembering to sign mom at the end of each post, before commenting on all your photos.
6. Their favorite comedians are already from another era.
Anne Roumanoff or Patrick Timsit, your choice. They can watch the DVD over and over every Saturday evening in front of their TV set without getting tired, with tears in their eyes, they can’t laugh anymore. But be careful, they don’t like Bigard because he “goes too far and then still he’s a little vulgar roooh”.
7. When they come home from work, they change, and it’s not fun
You stick to jogging, and that’s already a lot. Your little loving parents prioritize well-being and comfort above all else, so they need pajamas, a dressing gown and soft socks in their checkered charentaises. And to sleep, they put on nightgowns.
8. They never renew their decor, never
Because, otherwise, they wouldn’t feel at home anymore, and it would be all empty, and what are you pissing me off it’s very good like that. Even your salt dough sculptures, your class photos and the postman’s almanac from 1997. Anything that relates to loved ones or fond memories, or that they possibly found a little cute at some point in time. their existence, they keep it, they pile it up, they expose it.
9. Their dog is ugly
They could have chosen a dashing golden retriever, for example, or anything beautiful, dignified, and loving. But Filou is thirty centimeters long, his hairs are gray-brown and quite tangled. He insists on wanting to sleep on the sofa and barks very high, especially at you. And yet, they treat him like the youngest, the darling of the family and pamper him almost more than you.
10. They try to adopt your language, and fail
“So, girls, is that swag?” Can be slightly unsettling, especially if you’re accompanied. But it takes crazy proportions by sms, where they have a blast with the new emoticons that you have installed for them and other XD and MDR.
11. Their clothes
But of course, why didn’t we talk about it earlier. The twenty-year-old concert tee-shirt, the Quechua fleece because it’s not hot for the season, and the jeans that are too loose. When it is not the complete Desigual outfit for Mamounette because it is “happy all these colors”. Before, you got annoyed when they allowed themselves to think about your outfit, since you know how to put things into perspective.
12. They use cheesy words to say something is out of date
Thus creating an infinite loop. Example: “Look at this t-shirt how bad it is!” “
13. All their freebies are void
Unless you list them first. And again, it is not a given, because they do not always understand what they read, and they do not differentiate between the brands that interest you and the discount products. The fake Converse with an arobase instead of the star for your eight years, they still stick to your throat.
14. They only listen to 80s music
And not just any one, no. The underground music of the time they beat the steaks. They religiously bought each year of their youth the CD of the hits of the summer, the worst commercial hits of the time on which they wiggled in a nightclub, raising their index fingers to the sky. They can criticize Magic System after that.
15. They have an opinion on a lot of things which they do not know
You got a heartbreaking talk about the dangers of smoking far worse than alcohol, a warning against carpooling and social media where you can meet perverts, and they come back from every cruise claiming that locals are very warm, “a real sense of welcome”, which their level of English has never enabled them to verify.