Top 13 things that will happen after the disappearance of humanity, when we are all…

As we all know, the world is doomed. Rather than get depressed let’s accept the fact that we’re all going to die together hand in hand, YAY! But then what will happen next? When the Earth will no longer have a single human on the stone? It is on the basis of this hypothesis that Alan Weisman wrote his book Homo Disappearance imagining what would happen to the planet without us, step by step. And finally, roughly speaking, it’s fine, we won’t be missed by many people.

1. One minute after the brutal disappearance of humanity: the animals are having a party

But it doesn’t last long because all the pets that were locked up won’t be able to get out (well yeah, they didn’t have the keys, the jesters) and will therefore starve, just like the cattle, which won’t be able to feed themselves either. Aaaah, finally it was not so bad to be eaten by humans huh? EH ?

Good, but more concretely the pandemic and universal confinement have shown us that animals quickly point the tip of their noses in places traditionally reserved for humans, once we were all stuck at home.

2. A few hours later: EVERYTHING IS DARK ON EARTH

More power plants, more electricity. More electricity, more light. More light, more light. Luckily, there will still be a few flashlights and plenty of batteries available in store.

3. Two days later: the metro is flooded

Without maintenance, the pipes will deteriorate at high speed and very quickly the water will seep into the underground tunnels. At the same time it will not be very serious since technically, we will be more inside to complain that the stop is too long. But big hassle for the giraffes who had taken the opportunity to visit the big cities a bit.

Top 13 things that will happen after the disappearance of

4. One month later: nuclear power plants go nawak

No longer maintained, they explode one after the other, it’s Chernobyl to the power of 20,000, like the thing, it’s worse than a Michael Bay movie! Suddenly, a large part of the animals (those who had been pissed off opening the door to their home) will cry out from overwhelming cancer. BOUNAMBIANCE.

5. One year later: shower of shooting stars, let’s make wishes!

The fault with the many debris which one takes in the mouth since the satellites are not managed any more and are collected miserably on Earth.

6. Three years old: Buildings make weird sounds

Without electricity, the pipes will burst, but the buildings will remain upright, we will just hear an odd creaking which should sound like a moan. Too creepy. Luckily no one will be there to hear that.

7. One hundred years: without ivory trade, the elephant population multiplies by 20

They will thus become presidents of the animal kingdom. AND BOOM. Who was it that was right? It’s Babar! There you go, and we didn’t see the damn thing coming.

8. Three centuries: the great mechanical installations collapse (bye-bye the Eiffel Tower)

And cities in the middle of the desert like Las Vegas are buried under the sand, the dams give way. It holds well in the end this cam.

9. Five centuries: the forest will have spread to the level of the suburbs of large cities

But we can still find household appliances among the trees. Long live stainless aluminum.

10. A few thousand years: the concrete walls are starting to crumble

Not all at the same speed of course, those whose bases are the deepest will last longer but basically the antelopes will have to break quite quickly from their HLM. HAHA we laugh less now huh?

11. 35,000 years ago: certain pollutants dating from the industrial era begin to disappear from the soil

Basically the air is finally starting to be breathable, yay!

12. Seven million and wheelbarrows (like 2 days, 3 hours and 2 minutes): Mount Rushmore will always be on top although partly buried

Unless an asteroid or an earthquake hits him in the face first. Suddenly, when extraterrestrials come to colonize the Earth they will see that and will think that the humans had faces of about fifteen meters long. THE BALL.

13. Eternity: the waves continue to wander

As fragmented as they are, our television and radio waves will continue to wander through space. Basically, Cyril Hanouna’s laughter will persist beyond the end of humanity, when he was already the cause. ABUSAY.

All that to say that we think we’re destroying nature, but we mustn’t forget that she was there before us, this old goat and that she’ll be fine once we’re gone. So NTM nature.

: Homo Disparitus, by Alan Weisman, Ed. Flammarion