We often make fun of old people for lots of things: their behavior (which in reality is not at all funny), the way they fall asleep anywhere at any time, their drivel and a whole host of subjects on which we actually laughs to try to swallow the pill: the next old people are us. In order to see the problem from another angle, we decided to talk about a few positive things, as we had done with the accessories that we would like to steal from old people, because ultimately there are aspects of old age that don’t look bad.
1. Fall asleep in front of the TV at 2 p.m.
- 1 1. Fall asleep in front of the TV at 2 p.m.
- 2 2. Making grandchildren uncomfortable
- 3 3. Get seats in transport
- 4 4. Look at construction sites with your hands behind your back
- 5 5. Don’t give a damn about thalassotherapy
- 6 6. Traveling the whole month of September in a motorhome
- 7 7. Pretending to have forgotten things that annoy us
- 8 8. Being rude without having to apologize
- 9 9. Monopolizing the floor at the table to talk about the good jokes we used to make with friends when we were 20
- 10 10. Pretending to be deaf when we are told something that pisses us off
- 11 11. Tell big myths about our young years without anyone being able to contradict us because they will all be dead
- 12 12. Go on a cruise for all-day drinks and card games
Whether the day’s program is busy or completely empty, at 2 p.m. it’s the unmissable bullshit series with the sound muted and the plaid on the sofa. Little quiet siesta before kicking back until the aperitif. Hanging out, all the time, paradise.
2. Making grandchildren uncomfortable
As soon as there is a family meal or one of the grandchildren comes to say hello, it’s time to shame him a little and take out the files like “ah he wore diapers up to eight years”, especially when he or she brings back his crush to introduce him/her to the family.
3. Get seats in transport
When you are old you can recover a seat already heated by the derche of a young person to sit down as soon as you enter the bus or the metro. Gone are the long minutes of struggling standing up and failing to break your jaws every time you brake, acting as if you were perfectly balanced.
4. Look at construction sites with your hands behind your back
A classic from the old days, strolling around the neighborhood and watching the workers at work saying to themselves “it really changes the neighborhood all the same”. Don’t think it’s something we invent, it’s a real occupation for old people.
5. Don’t give a damn about thalassotherapy
A good three-day thalasso to get a massage, take whirlpool baths, do nothing in a jacuzzi for two hours, drink lunch and dinner before returning to relax… There, like that, it looks like an old man’s vacation, and that’s it. is normal, but you will see, it is clearly the perfect vacation.
6. Traveling the whole month of September in a motorhome
Finished the famous choice of anxiety between the holidays in July and the holidays in August, there we avoid all these idiots of tourists and vacationers who have gone back to work and we enjoy the holidays much better. In addition, seasonal workers are slammed after the summer rush and they make mistakes all the time in the addition to the restaurant. Double bonuses.
7. Pretending to have forgotten things that annoy us
As soon as you’re asked a question you don’t want to answer, as soon as you tackle a subject that annoys you, you can come up with the ultimate excuse: “oh I forgot”. Unstoppable.
8. Being rude without having to apologize
When we’re old we don’t give a shit anymore, we know we don’t have that long to live so we take less tweezers when something annoys us. Acting like a big asshole yes, but with the excuse of being old, and that’s fine.
9. Monopolizing the floor at the table to talk about the good jokes we used to make with friends when we were 20
Everyone is obligated to listen anyway, even if this is the eighth time the story has been told. On the one hand it saves us from having to take an interest in the rotten lives of others, but on top of that we are even more respected.
10. Pretending to be deaf when we are told something that pisses us off
Another classic when you’ve already used the excuse of memory running out: that of saying that you can’t hear and that you’re tired because there’s too much noise. Grandpa’s best move that.
11. Tell big myths about our young years without anyone being able to contradict us because they will all be dead
“Yeah I was Beyoncé’s driver”. In a few decades no one will be able to contradict you when you swing big mythos, all the people who could restore the truth will be caned so no risk of being grilled.
12. Go on a cruise for all-day drinks and card games
Bake your ass in the sun and flirt with everything that moves in the bingo club, play cards and do karaoke until 7 p.m., all on a huge boat with an open bar… The best vacation in the world, there’s not even anything to discuss.