If you are familiar with Disney movies, you have noticed that there are categories of characters found in all cartoons. There are adorable Disney characters, perverse Disney characters, and characters you wouldn’t want to be confined to, those who are really unbearable. On top of it all are the rulers of the Disney Kingdoms. They are kings and queens, sultans or emperors but very often, they are mostly completely incompetent people. We’ve ranked the Disney movie monarchs for you, from worst to worst to best of all (the only one that deserves its place).
Worst Disney Movie
Throughout his childhood, Simba wanted to become king at all costs so that he could do what he wanted and own the kingdom. He is arrogant with the butler Zazu, does as he pleases and endangers everyone, the worst kid in the world. Once it’s his turn to rule, Simba runs away like a coward because “yes-yes my father is dead because of me”. In addition to being super credulous and being fooled like a bruise by Uncle Scar, Simba only thinks about his face and leaves without worrying about the fate of his friend Nala or his poor mother. Many children have become kings in history, but Simba preferred to obey his uncle’s “Go far away and never come back”. After many years away from responsibilities smoking joints with his baboons friends, Simba comes back like a flower to put his buttocks on the throne and have sex with his childhood friend. The guy has no doubts.
From start to finish, the sultan is fooled like crazy by Jafar, Aladdin and even his own daughter, but he’s happy. All that matters to him is that his daughter makes a good marriage with a prince before she turns sixteen, governing the kingdom is only secondary. He is clearly one of the most stupid characters of Disney but also one of the luckiest since Jafar will never manage to take his place on the throne.
Kuzco is the worst emperor of the Inca civilization and I weigh my words. We are still talking about a guy who wants to raze a village to make a giant palace that looks like an amusement park and refuses to abandon the project when he is transformed into a llama. At the end of the film, Kuzco announces that he has finally become reasonable and he becomes emperor again without anyone having a problem. All right, let’s do this.
Elsa is the crown princess of the kingdom of Arendelle and is crowned in front of everyone in the kingdom. The problem is that she is unable to master her potentially dangerous magical powers. When she accidentally creates an arc of ice during the ceremony, you might think it’s time for her to unveil her powers and calmly explain to her subjects that everything will be fine (she’s the queen after all, she does what she wants). Instead, Elsa thinks it’s a much better idea to run away to the mountains, abandoning her castle. The whole kingdom then plunges into an eternal winter when it’s spring, the girl is really unable to manage anything. Throughout the film, the villagers are probably trying to save the crops and survive the cold while Elsa hums tranquillou in her new ice castle (we don’t deny ourselves anything). Finally, the Snow Queen needs an ice cream seller and her sick little sister to save her, but she does not question herself and begins to govern again as if nothing had happened. We knew she was unstable, but still.
Completely egocentric and cruelly lacking in attention, Snow White’s stepmother swears by her magic mirror, which tells her every day that she is the most beautiful in the kingdom. Since the mirror only tells the truth, we have the right to wonder if the queen had all the beautiful women in the country murdered to reach the top of the podium. When it is finally Snow White who becomes the most beautiful, the queen abandons all her activities to get down to the assassination of Snow White. Disappointed with the hunter who couldn’t kill her stepdaughter, she goes so far as to change her appearance to gain Snow White’s trust and poison her. What’s going on in the kingdom during this time? Who cares, only killing her late husband’s daughter now matters to the queen. A very healthy and balanced pastime.
King Triton is an authoritarian and angry man who can’t stand anyone disobeying his orders. We notice from the beginning that Triton is xenophobic and does not support humans out of simple fear of their “other world”. Blinded by the love he has for his daughter, King Triton gives up his crown to the witch Ursula who seizes her trident. Triton should never have become king because he is too easily controlled by his emotions (this bolosse).
In the jungle, King Louie has clearly imposed his supremacy. The monkeys, his subjects, live piled up in the ruins of a temple in the middle of banana peels. Louie has enslaved his people and has no pity for the older ones since it’s an elderly monkey who gives him air with a banana leaf. When the monkeys bring Mowgli to the temple, Louie desperately wants the boy to give him the secret to making a fire but Mowgli doesn’t fucking know about it since he grew up with wolves. Too bad for good King Louie.
When Arthur removes the Excalibur sword from its rock, he is directly recognized as King of England and everyone is very happy. We quickly seem to forget that Arthur is a dissipated, clumsy and probably somewhat diminished kid. Already, he ruins a hunting party at the beginning of the film. Afterwards, he is unable to learn anything from Merlin’s lessons. Finally, he manages to forget Kay’s sword in an inn while he has been preparing his whole life to become a squire. This child is very clearly a good-for-nothing but he still has time to learn.
In the kingdom of Heart, there is no question of hoping for a democracy or even a minimum of respect for human rights. The Queen of Hearts is there to bring order and anyone who disagrees with her risks having their heads cut off. It’s pretty effective and no one fusses until stoner Alice arrives. The insufferable kid messed up in Wonderland and ruined the croquet game of the Queen who had kindly welcomed her into her quarters. As if ruling over playing cards wasn’t hard enough.
Bambi’s dad is arguably the best ruler of any Disney movie. Always on the lookout to protect his people, he spends his days on the heights to watch over the herd and is prepared to react in the event of a threat. After the death of Bambi’s mother, he takes care of his son without neglecting his duty as a leader for a single moment and saves everyone at the end of the film. A king, a real one.