That’s it, they’re big now. You’ve known each other for years, and every time you look at them you can’t help but feel remorse. One day, you will have to tell them that they are not your biological parents. If they really love you, they’ll forgive you for lying to them for so long. This top will help you overcome the anxieties associated with adoption.
1. Present them with undeniable facts
“Dad, mom, I don’t know if you’ve ever noticed, but we don’t look alike at all. I am black and red. You are white Maltese bichons. At one point, it’s genetically impossible. “
This technique is quite effective but a little straightforward, so be careful that they are not in a complicated period of their life.
2. Call Pascal the big brother
The number 1 expert in conflictual family relationships is your best bet. He will put you in front of concrete blocks that you can break with sledgehammers while crying. What better time to tell them that you were actually born in Vietnam and not in the Saint-Remy-Les-Grieux maternity hospital?
3. After their death
This technique has two major advantages: Already, there is no risk that they will take it badly and resent you, which would destroy your relationship which was only love and compassion until then. And in addition, you are sure that they will not deprive you, so you can go skiing with their money. You who had always dreamed of passing your snowflake.
4. Make them guess
“Dad, mom, I’m like Steve Jobs. No, I am not dead. No, I am not the CEO of one of the biggest companies in the world. No, I don’t wear a turtleneck. No, I’m not adopted. No… Uh, so wait. “
Of course, you should not avoid using this technique if your parents are a bit limited like in the example.
If they enjoy the news, this is the opportunity to then test them on the most difficult riddles.
5. Ask them to send “adopted” to 8 12 12. adopted to 8 12 12. Like that, just to see
This service is both efficient and reliable. And the response is much faster than for a DNA test.
6. Play Gilbert Montagné’s “Child from the End of the World” on a loop
Beautiful song about adoption, your parents will understand what you are trying to tell them if they have a minimum of finesse. Only problem, they might misunderstand the message and think that you are trying to tell them that you are blind. A risk to run.
7. Tell them something more serious before
“Daddy, mummy, sit down, I have something to tell you.” I wear fangs. And I like it. Ah and also I am adopted ”.
No problem, they won’t be shocked by your second announcement since they’ve already kicked you out.
8. Tell them in Berber sign language
No risk: Your parents will think that you are revising your kapoeira choreography for your end of year show at the Merlicourt party room, in Picardy. And you, on your side, will have a clear conscience since you will have told them the truth. If they didn’t understand, it’s their fault. They just had to follow in class.
9. Announce them over the stadium microphone at half-time for the World Cup final
Just imagine the picture: 80,000 people, with tears in their eyes, listening to you with emotion. Behind you, cheerleaders give their all. Fireworks erupt above you. Beyonce arrives and improvises a concert. In the stands, people hug their loved ones and remind them how much they love them. Your parents won’t dare to react badly, it would break everyone’s mood. 100% efficiency.
A technique tested and approved by the editorial staff.
10. Bring in your biological parents
It’s time to move on to phase 2 of your plan: Bring in your birth parents. If your adoptive parents really love you, they will let them settle in and you will all live happily and happily together.
Choose the technique you prefer, but remember that the longer you wait, the more difficult it will be …
Once this is done, you can also consider telling your cat that he has been adopted.