The “Hit Machine” is our whole childhood.
Having fun every Saturday at 10 a.m. was quite a concept. But it worked. All the musical artists of the moment came to sing (all in playback) and it was a party for an hour. And then one day, no more Saturdays, no more crazy audiences. Terrible: the show stops.
But that was without counting on the Internet and its power of persuasion. By dint of complaining, it happened: THE HIT MACHINE IS BACK. So it will surely be different, but we are still happy.
On the other hand, don’t mess around guys, there absolutely must be the following 10 elements. Otherwise, it sucks.
1. The same credits as in the 90s
We feel it coming.
Don’t go and redo us a zero credits in 3D to make it modern. We want the same as before. Point.
We want to have chills from the first seconds, and that’s the only way it will work.
2. A Boy Band
Who cares about Kendji, Soprano or Vitaa.
We want the boy’s bands of the time. Bring us Franck and Adel. Bring us back Gerald from the G-Squad. Bring us the Poetics Lovers.
We want oiled torsos, bitten lips, spiky hair, gold chains and bustling choreographies.
WE WANT TO REJUVENATE GOOD BLOOD.
3. Lulu’s Ugly Costumes
We sincerely hope that Lulu lives up to the legend by wearing an abominable costume.
No because really, even back then it was infamous. Horribly colored outfits that were badly cut, badly fitted and looked particularly uncomfortable. The same as Nagui at that time, to situate.
So Lulu, do us honor: put on something despicable, please.
4. A guest from Ophelaia
You may have forgotten, but the very first host of the Hit Machine: it was Ophélie Winter.
Or “Ophelaaaaïe” as we said at the time. And we hope that the show will wink at him. Even a small place. It would be his first news since March 2004 so it would still be really nice.
Come on, nice gesture.
Let’s be clear: a Hit Machine without the biggest French group in history would be pointless.
6. An American gigastar
Usher, Prince, Jennifer Lopez, Janet Jackson, Mariah Carey, Snoop Dog…
Almost all of the big US stars went through the Hit Machine of the time. It was the only show of its kind in France, so it was a must for all the stars. We therefore hope that the tradition will continue.
If we don’t have Justin Bieber, Drake, The Weeknd and Adele frankly we sulk. Without wanting to put pressure or what huh. But we sulk.
7. Dumb Happenings
It was quite common: lame happenings that happened without warning and had absolutely no connection with the show.
Like this fight scene between Nâdiya and a hysterical fan.
Yes, this sequence exists.
8. The Top Boys
The fire it burns and the water it wets all the birds are flying in the sky, The fish are blowing bubbles and the grass is green in the forest (in the forest), I bought myself a sweater, it’s made of wool and in jersey (in jersey), I no longer eat apples because I fell on a glitch (on a glitch), after all I’m only a man because I run slower than the train…
Anyway, I don’t know if it’s Baudelaire or the Top Boys, but when in doubt, I hope both will be there.
If we had to keep ONE title from the Hit Machine period?
“Barbie Girl” of course and with very little hesitation. So if the group came back to perform this masterclass a few years later, it would be incredible.
No, in fact, it’s an order: there will be Aqua. We have decided.
10. Charly and Lulu’s ending song
Well, normally Charly and Lulu should make their biggest hit at the end of the show. The one that closed all the Hit Machines.
Otherwise we alert the CSA anyway.
IN THE COMPANY OF AN AUDIENCE IN FOOOOOOLIE.