Hi my vanilla sorbets, how are you doing on this beautiful, dull and gray day in January that starts off quietly? We’re fine. Finally, it’s okay, the weather is ugly, there are more cases of covid around us than trees in the Amazon rainforest but it should eventually get better and there will be less (cases and trees by the way ). You know it is Sunday and Sunday in Topito is Champions Day. Once again we thank the brave @ajustetitre, finder of unusual news items who helps us find beautiful nuggets every week.
1. Vaucluse: they packaged their cannabis in “Haribeuh” sachets
Topito’s analysis: The inventiveness of dealers should never be underestimated: after loyalty cards with freebies and Christmas raffles, here is the packaging that makes all the difference. The play on words is well thought out, it is seller, too bad it is illegal.
2. He drives at 240 km / h on the Ring and drifts in a roundabout: “His father is proud of it”
Topito’s analysis: Belgium is the best country in the world, that’s perfectly undeniable. But they also have some champions there and this driver who did difts and 240km / h on the periphery by sharing all that on his networks is clearly a beautiful specimen. But he is the pride of his father and that is the best part of the story.
3. A lawyer and an inmate caught having sex at the Health Prison
Topito’s analysis: This kind of business can quickly become annoying because there is a whole procedure for detainees to have a sexual relationship (the partner in question must be searched, there are places provided for this …). All this is well explained in the book of the lawyer in question “Le bareau au bareau”.
4. “You have a big belly”, the lunar altercation between two deputies during the vaccine pass debate
Topito’s analysis: Since the time we say that it is really kids the deputies we have to believe us. Getting to this kind of schoolyard insults in the midst of a debate in the assembly is a bit scary. After maybe he really had a big belly and the whole guy in front of him, suddenly it would be fair to say (no).
5. On the run for 20 years, he was unmasked by the police … because he was not wearing his mask
Topito’s analysis: This murderer has been hiding for 20 years and had to keep a low profile, after 18 years on the run a pandemic arrives which allows him to put on a mask in the street and hide his face even more but no, the guy decides not to wear it at the risk of being arrested for that… Well done for his face.
6. Moselle: A baker puts beans in the shape of a penis in his pancakes and “people love it”
Topito’s analysis: It has at least the merit of making fun an ultra overpriced dessert (sorry but the frangipane is not phew) so why not. Then so obviously “people love” why deprive themselves, it allows you to make nice heavy jokes such as “be careful not to swallow it” or “try not to put your teeth Martine lol”. Yeah, I don’t take too much responsibility for these valves.
7. But who stole manhole covers in Trédias in the Côtes d’Armor?
Topito’s analysis: Here is a mystery which prevents the Armoricans from sleeping, who it is who steals the manhole covers ?? And most importantly, (in my opinion the real question in this case that needs to be answered) why is someone stealing manhole covers? What is the project behind this crime?
8. A woman who made € 44,000 per week selling her farts hospitalized for having farted too much
Topito’s analysis: The race to glory in all its splendor, she burned her wings too wanting to flirt with angels. This woman sold her farts in jars and because of the success she had she started to follow a special diet to be able to fart more until she was hospitalized. Believe in your dreams but stay safe anyway, we never say it enough.
9. Chile: A baby named Griezmann Mbappé was born on January 1
Topito’s analysis: The story does not yet say if this Chilean baby will have French nationality thanks to this pretty name, but he will already have the class and probably the best parents in the world so we don’t worry about the little Grizbapé from Chile.
10. In the middle of handball training, a wild boar breaks into a gymnasium near Caen
Topito’s analysis: The stunned glances multiplied and the questions were fired: “Is he a supporter?” “,” A new player? “,” A member of the staff? “In my opinion, it is above all the symbol of the Ardennes which arrives in Caen and it is a sign that it is perhaps necessary to try to make a twinning with the team of Rethel. Heart on you my Ardennes.
While waiting for next week you can go see the guys of the week, it’s always funny.