You noticed, every month you are told that it is the worst of the year to give birth. And yeah, we know, we don’t really have a choice in the date of her delivery, but frankly make an effort too, the month of February is really the worst month of all (along with the 11 others), that’s part truths to know about childbirth.
1. It’s the coldest month of the year.
- 1 1. It’s the coldest month of the year.
- 2 2. You could give birth on February 14
- 3 3. Or worse, February 29!
- 4 4. Like January, it’s bad timing for school
- 5 5. You will be limited for Mardi Gras costumes
- 6 6. Everyone is sick
- 7 7. He could share his birthday with Christine Boutin
- 8 8. He will be either Aquarius or Pisces, in short, all rotten signs
- 9 9. You can no longer zip your coat
- 10 10. All the doctors are on a ski vacation.
You thought that January had given everything in terms of temperature? Nah, it was just a start. The month of February tears your skin with its gusts of wind, freezes your hair from the snow, and even if OK, the planet is warming up, generally the month of February reminds you that the thaw is not for right now.
2. You could give birth on February 14
Yeah, for Valentine’s Day. All his life, he will have to share his birthday with the most commercial and rotten party in the world (although fortunately there are still people who know how to laugh at Valentine’s Day). He’ll spend his day seeing couples kissing and smelling roses in the street, and if he can’t catch it that day, it’ll be a double lose. Yippee.
3. Or worse, February 29!
No, but who invented this rotten month frankly? Imagine, he is born on February 29, he will only be able to celebrate his birthday on the same day every 4 years. The other years he will have to do this on the 28th or the 1st, the injustice is total.
4. Like January, it’s bad timing for school
Children born at the beginning of the year really have no luck. Your kid is going to have to do an extra year of crèche (with the costs that entails), he’ll be taller than everyone else at the start of the school year and will have to hang out with “little ones”.
5. You will be limited for Mardi Gras costumes
Because your belly will be huge that you won’t fit into anything, and you’ll be condemned to disguise yourself as a beached whale, the only credible option given your condition. Good at the same time, you are no longer 8 years old, so Mardi Gras, you don’t give a damn about it, don’t you?
6. Everyone is sick
Yep, long live winter and its germs. January is gastro (by the way, follow our advice to avoid catching gastro in your kid), February is the flu (well, for 2 years it’s been covid but hey, we’re going to act as if we don’t was not in the middle of a pandemic), make your choice: what do you prefer? Between spending 3 days puking or 2 weeks dying at the bottom of your bed, the choice is not easy.
And that, I believe, is the worst reason. Do you really want him to share his birthday with the most reactive girl in France? Not really a good way to start life. So avoid giving birth on February 6th.
8. He will be either Aquarius or Pisces, in short, all rotten signs
If you know a little about astrology, you know, YOU KNOW that these are horrible signs and that those who wear them are not frequent people.
9. You can no longer zip your coat
Because your belly is huge, which is quite logical at the end of a pregnancy. But hey, finding leggings, tunics and big sweaters is quite easy, but then throwing 90 bucks in a maternity coat that you’re going to wear 3 months (and still), it’s a pure scandal (yes, I denounce, what are you going to do?).
10. All the doctors are on a ski vacation.
And there will be no one to deliver you. If it is, they will all be on the slopes of Courchevel drinking mulled wine, while you will be pushing in front of a frightened intern. Great, thank you French hospitals, thank you Hippocrates huh!