Top 10 evidence that penguins are puffs, the biggest fdp’s on the sea ice

Among the cute animals that are not cool at all, you can be sure to find, among others, sloths and otters but especially penguins, who are huge sons of assholes, excuse me for the expression. We trusted Sam from Atypical, who convinced us that penguins were beings who only deserved love, but in fact, after deepening the subject, we realized that they were the worst species in creation. .

1. They are half cannibals

In 2012, a daddy penguin tasted his little chick under the eyes of the staff of a Chinese zoo, without any explanation, not even a bad mark in maths. This kind of behavior is normally very unusual among penguins, but in real life we ​​don’t know what’s going on in their colonies, we don’t have eyes everywhere, so we wouldn’t be surprised if a penguin came on the set of Cyril Hanouna to tell us that they have been fooling us for years. You just have to see the face of their mouth.

2. Penguins form more dangerous criminal gangs than the mafia

The Yakuzas and the drug traffickers can get dressed, we found stronger than them, I named the Adélie penguins. These little bastards travel in tight bands and commit, among other things, thefts, murders, sexual assaults on minors and gang rapes to maintain their reputation and their domination. Hello the climate of fear that reigns in Antarctica.

3. Penguin women try to kidnap other people’s children

In emperor penguins, if a woman has a miscarriage, she will not hesitate to go and bite other people’s kids under the effect of her hormones. It doesn’t matter whether the baby penguins are abandoned or not, she can steal one from other families if she can’t find what she’s looking for. In general, many chicks die after these kidnappings. There’s atmosphere on the ice floe, it never stops.

4. They are sex maniacs

Between 1910 and 1913, scientist George Murray Levick studied the complete reproductive cycles of penguins in Antarctica. And he saw stuff so dirty that he was forced to censor himself by writing only part of his discoveries in Greek so as not to shock. He discovered that during their breeding season, penguins, and especially Adélie penguins, only think about ass. They even happen to fuck the ground until they ejaculate so much they can’t hold back. But read the top to the end, the sequel is even better, you’ll see.

5. They have no respect for their life partner

The ideal marriage is often compared to the married life of penguins who are depicted as monogamous spending the rest of their lives loving only one partner. Well know that it is false, archi false. Female Humboldt penguins, for example, sometimes abandon their mate during the breeding season to go ken with other penguins. As for emperor penguins, if they do not find their partner quickly during the breeding season, they will not hesitate to take the first or the first available to mate. But beware, penguins also have their pride, which is why males often tend to fight for their honor between cuckolds and future cuckolds. In addition, studies have shown that nearly 80% of penguins leave their partner at least once. Hello divorce rate.

6. They are downright necrophiliacs and pedophiles

As we said a little above, penguins are sesque obsessives who don’t give a damn about morality, to the point that they are ready to sleep with dead people or babies to satisfy their sexual needs. . It is therefore very common that during the mating period, young penguins (Adélie, especially, again them) who do not know life well mate with penguins that died last year or with chicks because they mistake them for consenting females. It would be a question of going to see an optician as soon as possible.

7. Some penguins like to fuck in their feces

If the Adélie penguins (decidedly, they don’t miss a thing), love to cover themselves with their pink excrement, it is the Humboldt penguins who have a weird fetish. These penguins indeed like to breed in their poo because it is easier to dig in the guano to breed than in the rocky areas where they live. It is true that there is a way to make it more comfortable.

8. Some females use prostitution to steal from their mates

To build the nests that will house their eggs, some species of penguins need stones. When a couple of penguins run out of stone, the mother’s instinct takes over and the female goes off to warm up another male. She promises him a good part of legs in the air if he gives her some stone in exchange. Unfortunately for male penguins, some females run away with the stones received before coitus even begins. Listen, it’s a currency like any other, we’re not going to start judging the practices of others.

9. Some penguins rape and harass others

Again because of their crazy hormones during the breeding season, some penguins do not hesitate to attack injured penguins for ken, others to force non-consenting females to let themselves be done by dint of harass. George Murray Levick, for example, witnessed the rape of three male penguins on an injured female who was trying to escape.

10. They pretend to be penguins, we actually see you

That’s called identity theft. Big fdp we tell you.

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