Top 10 dumbest news stories, champions of the week #364

Hi all my ginger juices, how are you on this first Sunday of vacation (for those on vacation) or normal Sunday for unhappy and sad people? We are doing everything slowly, we make it go as we say in Auvergne, or we make milk as we say in Normandy. You know it’s Sunday and Sunday at Topito is the day of the champions of the week. As always, we warmly thank the brave @adjustitre who brilliantly selects the titles of the most unusual news stories and thanks to whom we make this top in part every week, I even saw him once save a child from drowning at the aquaboulevard.

1. “I have done more good for the country than all the politicians put together”: Rocco Siffredi candidate for the Italian presidential election

Topito’s analysis: So it’s already true what he says, clearly, apart from his career in porn, he is above all a fervent defender of the animal cause who speaks since he had made an awareness campaign at the time which said “you abandon your dog, I bugger you”. I do not invent, it existed, suddenly he has my vote.

Global porn star says he’s ‘done this country more good than any politician in history’

Posted by Midi Libre on Monday, January 31, 2022

2. Bac+8 but forbidden to practice, converted to butchery… she will finally become a doctor after 10 years of hardship

Topito’s analysis: So I’m not saying, but “prohibited from exercising” and “converted into the butcher’s shop” are red flags, aren’t they? Shouldn’t we make him re-sit the competitions just to be sure?

Ten years after being forced to give up medicine despite having completed her studies, this 47-year-old mother will defend her doctoral thesis in the coming months.

Posted by Le Quotidien du Médecin on Saturday, January 29, 2022

3. Stuck in the mud, a dog saved thanks to a drone and a sausage

Topito’s analysis: It’s crazy what you can do with a drone and a sausage, frankly you have no idea. You can rescue dogs, barbecue high up and be happy. If Frodo had had that to survive in Middle Earth the story would have been settled quickly.

4. Somme: during a walk, his dog places an unpinned grenade at his feet in Abbeville

Topito’s analysis: Teaching your dog to bring back the ball or the stick that you throw at it can clearly play tricks on you, it happened once to a guy who threw a stick of dynamite high in the mountains to cause an avalanche and it happened to this brave walker who recovered a grenade that had been unpinned. Luckily for him it didn’t fart.

5. No more chicken and fries, inmates refuse to return to their cells

Topito’s analysis: Far be it from me to take sides in this story, but quite frankly I think we can understand them. In general, we don’t mess around with chicken and fries where I come from (the commercial area of ​​Grand Cora, just behind Gifi) so I have to agree with these inmates.

6. Turkey: to respond to rising prices, Erdogan dismisses the head of the statistics agency

Topito’s analysis: There are several ways to deal with a problem: 1) find a solution 2) run away from it 3) simply remove the problem. And that, Erdogan understood it well. A fine example of an unstoppable move in chess.

Sait Erdal Dinçer had published in early January an annual inflation rate of more than 36%, the highest for nearly twenty years. A figure yet underestimated, according to the opposition.

Posted by Le Monde on Friday, January 28, 2022

7. The bus forgets a player on the highway area, he is picked up by another team

Topito’s analysis: Suffice to say that the atmosphere in the second bus should not have been incredible: recovering a forgotten opponent is already not done in wartime so for a football match there was really no obligation.

8. Italy: a priest is fined for ringing his church bell too much

Topito’s analysis: Nah, but because he’s a dingo of the bell I know him, in fact he doesn’t really believe in God but how he likes the sounds of bells! So he made a career just to ring them, but it’s like all addictions, one day they end up taking control over us.

9. The police take away his license and meet him again an hour later at the wheel

Topito’s analysis: It seems that it is the same guy who had had 18 in the philosophy baccalaureate by answering the subject “What is the nerve” with the following single sentence “that’s that big FDP of proofreader”. A particularly burned person if you ask me. If you don’t want my opinion, please skip to the next point of this top.

10. Chicken ‘gets grilled’ as she tries to enter the Pentagon

Topito’s analysis: Never had confidence in these animals for my part, they seem much smarter to me than they let think, especially since they are super resistant: as a reminder, we are talking about a species capable of laying a egg per day without limping. Wouldn’t surprise me if one of those four found out he was a spy or something.

And until next week don’t forget to hang up your laundry because it’s starting to get moldy. And at the same time I suggest you go see the teubés of the week, it’s funny and it reads quickly, like a testament.


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