Between the death threats against Harry, the countless hyper-traumatic encounters that Hogwarts students can have all over the school corridors and the great miseries that happen to the characters who are still teenagers, one wonders if the JK Rowling’s objective was not rather to rot our childhood than to make us discover the marvelous world of wizards…
1. You need permission to go to a lousy village when a lot more shit happens at Hogwarts
- 1 1. You need permission to go to a lousy village when a lot more shit happens at Hogwarts
- 2 2. “Obliettes” must have been used by a lot of sexual perverts
- 3 3. If you are expelled from school, your life is ruined
- 4 4. The Forbidden Forest right next to the school, barely dangerous
- 5 5. Dumbledore laying Harry relaxed on the Dursleys’ doormat
- 6 6. Harry Potter Education Overall
- 7 7. Squibs ostracized from society
- 8 8. Quidditch is a super violent sport
- 9 9. Clearly Snape is the worst teacher in the world, abusive and sadistic
- 10 10. 14-year-olds are taught spells that can literally kill someone.
Seriously, this school is the worst place in the world: between the chamber of secrets, the third floor hallway, the stairs that don’t imp and the risk of slamming during a wand attack, the students would put downright less their life in danger if they strolled at 4 am in a former mental asylum where live full of bloodthirsty undead.
2. “Obliettes” must have been used by a lot of sexual perverts
No, but seriously, a spell that allows you to erase anyone’s memory… Obviously, there are two or three malicious wizards who have used it to do not very pretty things…
3. If you are expelled from school, your life is ruined
Because we don’t just fire you. You are also forbidden to practice magic. That is to say that you live in a world where EVERYONE uses it and where EVERYTHING is designed for wizards. And you, just because you’re suspected of freeing a monster from a weird room once, you’re damned for eternity. Really uncool.
4. The Forbidden Forest right next to the school, barely dangerous
What sane director leaves access to a forest filled with dangerous and potentially deadly creatures to teenagers? Put up a fence or a big wall guys. Instead of using it to punish the first years, it’s totally unconscious and disproportionate.
5. Dumbledore laying Harry relaxed on the Dursleys’ doormat
It’s true that leaving a 1-year-old on his aunt’s doorstep with just a letter as an explanation may not have helped their future relationship. A small exchange over a cup of tea would have been welcome, Albus…
6. Harry Potter Education Overall
But really, it’s a disaster. The little one is abandoned in front of a front door to be entrusted to a detestable family who put him in a closet and who clearly exploit him. Especially since if Dumbledore is then interested in his education, it is clearly because he wants to sacrifice the kid to kill the big bad.
7. Squibs ostracized from society
And living it together, they don’t know at Hogwarts or what? The brats have wizarding parents, except – bad luck – they don’t have any powers. And rather than including them, adapting to their differences, they are prevented from studying.
8. Quidditch is a super violent sport
We are talking about one of the most dangerous sports in the world, where you can fall off your broom or have your face or a member of your body smashed by bludgers. This same sport that teenagers still very weak practice on (and above) the lawns of Hogwarts. Abused.
9. Clearly Snape is the worst teacher in the world, abusive and sadistic
In any case at the beginning of the saga. Seriously, if I had this teacher, I would probably have repeated eight times instead of seven and I would have finished my studies much too late. And it is not because in the long term his goal is noble that he is obliged to put so much money on his students. No but oh.
10. 14-year-olds are taught spells that can literally kill someone.
Everything is fine. Everything is normal. Maths, French, technology, nothing to fuck. On the other hand, kill someone instantly, there are people there. And then the guys are still walking around with their quiet wands when this thing is as deadly as a gun.