“Objectively”, that is to say that this top is the result of an impartial investigation, devoid of clichés or shortcuts… Nothing but serious, factual, verified information to make Bolloré jealous! Because at Topito, we never mess around with the food, even when it’s gross!
1. The United States
The US didn’t invent junk food for nothing… and didn’t hesitate to share its cholesterol addiction with the whole world! It makes you wonder why their kitchens are always so big and well equipped, when the Americans spend their time nibbling on crap to take away, or reheating their food in the microwave.
And in addition they make us this kind of affront:
Apart from their breakfast seasoned with a thin layer of fat, English food is far from being to everyone’s taste. A bad reputation that goes beyond their infamous jelly and can be explained by their annoying desire to sweeten everything on their plate, from the sweet and sour chutney sauce to accompany meats and fish, to their cheeses stuffed with candied fruit or accompanied by jam, without forgetting their strong taste for beans… Sugar is good, but our English friends remind us not to add it to all the sauces!
Well after in real life we still found some English specialties that we would like to import to France…
3. The Netherlands
Do we agree that a country that authorizes the sale of herring flavored sorbets has a serious taste problem? Besides, there’s a good reason why no one has ever written about Dutch gastronomy: it doesn’t exist! In Holland, we eat first to feed ourselves, if possible without spending too much time or spending too much money. The result is the reign of potatoes and fried dishes. Not disgusting when you’re 20, but sad to die beyond.
Would you like some reindeer again? In soup, stew, steak, stew, intravenously… In Finland, reindeer meat can be cooked in all sauces, sometimes to the point of bordering on indigestion overdose. At least we know where Santa’s faithful companions end up once the holiday season is over…
Eating in Japan is a bit like being immersed in a Lost in Digestion scenario. From the menu, to the language, through the cutlery, to what is on our plates, we often don’t understand absolutely anything. The food in Japan is unlike any of our usual standards. Some curious people will find an enriching taste adventure there, while others will flee to find refuge in the first Western fast food restaurant (the big fragile ones).
Good after… even if it hurts to say it, there are still a lot of delicious Japanese specialties (apart from sushi).
If it is difficult to sum up Russian gastronomy in the simple adjective of “gross”, as the country is huge and brings together different culinary traditions, one thing is certain, it is the heiress of certain episodes of its history. In particular that which followed the revolution of 1917, where the State had to feed the millions of workers who had fled the countryside to join the cities. That was more than 100 years ago and while new recipes have since had time to simmer, many retain the same ambition to nourish before pleasing.
7. South Korea
South Koreans are still people… not very good on their plate! The type to cook chicken anus, to swallow live octopus, to make you believe that Sundaes are prepared with blood pudding and noodles covered in a spicy sauce, and where “corpse soup” (cheonggukjang) is supposed to be a delicious dish. And then we are surprised that relations are strained with North Korea.
8. The Czech Republic
If the Czech Republic is the country in the world where the most beer is consumed per inhabitant (160L/year on average), it is undoubtedly to convey the taste of what is on the plate. Unless it’s to give themselves courage at the idea of what they’re going to have to swallow. Always useful that over there, you have to like dishes in sauce, potatoes accompanied by vegetables that you would never dare pass on to kids without risking a mutiny.
If there are a multitude of gastronomic specialties in Armenia, their diet can in fact be summed up in a single food: the barbaque, and if possible prepared on the barbecue! And be careful not to ruin everything with a lettuce leaf that would spoil the recipe. It’s a bit like if in front of an all-you-can-eat buffet, with lots of vegetables and small refined dishes, you only choose a steak and fries each time. Moreover, Armenia is known to have one of the least balanced gastronomy. No kidding ?
If Laos is the country that consumes the most rice in the world, it’s neither for taste nor to curb a galloping gastronomy, it’s because the population doesn’t have much choice… and incidentally that it goes well perfectly with dog meat. Don’t be disgusted, it seems to be excellent for the kidneys! In Laos, there are mainly two cuisines. Those that are served in restaurants or in roadside bouis-bouis, which is frankly not terrible, and that, more traditional and varied, prepared within families. Rarely hearty dishes but with crazy flavors, provided you like spicy food, otherwise you will have to follow a rice-based diet for several days…