Rate this statement on a scale of one (disagree strongly) to five (agree strongly): “I see myself as someone who has high self-esteem.”
Thomas Nelson | Entrepreneur
If five wasn’t your go-to answer, you’re not alone. In a study of more than 985,000 people in 48 nations, researchers found that, on average, men consistently report higher self-esteem than women in every single country. What’s more, the confidence gap was wider in Westernized countries (United States, United Kingdom, Canada), while it was narrower in southeast nations, such as the Philippines, Malaysia, Indonesia and Thailand.
Confidence is famously elusive, but there’s a bright side to that: People have spent countless hours on research and self-improvement books meant to help others move past self-esteem shortcomings. Here are eight to consider.
You Are a Badass (Jen Sincero)
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What We Love: In the first paragraph of her book, Sincero writes, “What little I knew about the self-help/spiritual world I found to be unforgivably cheesy… At the same time, there was all this stuff about my life that I desperately wanted to change and, had I been able to bulldoze through my holier-than-thouism, I could have really used some help around here.” If this hits home, give You Are A Badass — written by a #1 New York Times bestselling author and success coach — a try. In three parts, Sincero’s book outlines “How You Got This Way,” “How to Embrace Your Inner Badass,” How to Tap Into the Motherlode” and, finally, “How to Get Over Your B.S. Already.” In chapters with titles like “Love The One You Is” and “Your Brain Is Your Bitch,” she dives into concepts like self-perception, spirituality, healthy views of money, meditation and purpose, all via accessible language and actionable how-tos.
What Readers Say: One reviewer writes, ‘Stop what you are doing and get this book… This was the last book I read in 2017. The timing of it was perfect, because it helped me to formulate my goals and resolutions for 2018. This book helped me come up with my theme for the year: Love yourself.’ Another says, ‘Her writing style does not feel like a self-help book at all. It’s like having real-talk with a self-loving, educated girlfriend.’
Best Place to Buy: Currently listed at $9.59 on Amazon
The Gifts of Imperfection: Let Go of Who You Think You’re Supposed to Be and Embrace Who You Are (Brené Brown)
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What We Love: There’s a reason why a speech by Brené Brown ranks in the top five most popular TED Talks of all time. She’s a research professor and bestselling author, and this book contains guidance for living “wholeheartedly” — something Brown equates to living your life from a place of worthiness. Through the book’s ten guideposts — with titles like “Cultivating Authenticity: Letting Go of What People Think” and “Cultivating Creativity: “Letting Go of Comparison” — Brown aims to teach readers to view themselves as “enough,” to let go of productivity as self-worth and to move away from self-doubt and the need to feel constantly in control.
What Readers Say: One reviewer writes, ‘I initially avoided this book out of concern that it was one of many under-evidenced self-help titles. Changing my mind on reading this was undoubtedly one of the best decisions I have ever made, and I am a much better person for it… I think I can guarantee that something in this book will profoundly change you.’ Another says, ‘The author talks a lot about how making a major change in your life isn’t something you wake up and do one day, it’s something you practice every single day. And most will struggle with it, but without the struggle, we lose out on so much. I will have far fewer regrets on my deathbed having read this book.’
Best Place to Buy: Currently listed at $8.70 on Amazon
The Confidence Code: The Science and Art of Self-Assurance — What Women Should Know (Katty Kay and Claire Shipman)
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What We Love: In this book, broadcast journalists Katty Kay (BBC and NBC News) and Claire Shipman (ABC’s Good Morning America) draw practical advice from their own life experiences, as well as those of other prominent women in media, business and politics. They combine these ideas with research in genetics, behavior, cognition and gender to arrive at self-esteem advice for women of all ages. “The newest research shows that we can literally change our brains in ways that affect our thoughts and behavior at any age,” the authors write. “A substantial part of the confidence code is… our choice. With diligent effort, we can all choose to expand our confidence. But we will get there only if we stop trying to be perfect and start being prepared to fail.”
What Readers Say: One reviewer writes, ‘I was expecting a touchy-feely book about how girls should have more confidence and drop everything to pursue your dreams, but I was incredibly pleasantly surprised in how scientific this book is.’ Another says, ‘This book mentioned so many things that I used to do myself… I could see how I’m stacking the deck against myself without even knowing it. I read it before a salary negotiation, and as a result, I upped my initial asking number (and they gave it to me)!’
Best Place to Buy: Currently listed at $14.89 on Amazon
The Happiness Project: Or, Why I Spent a Year Trying to Sing in the Morning, Clean My Closets, Fight Right, Read Aristotle, and Generally Have More Fun (Gretchen Rubin)
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What We Love: There’s a reason why this book topped The New York Times’ Best Sellers list — and why its author, Gretchen Rubin, has had her works translated into more than 30 languages. Rubin’s writing and analytics put her at the forefront of research on habits, human nature and happiness. The latter was sparked by a simple question she asked herself on a rainy afternoon on a city bus: “What do I want from life, anyway?” In this book, Rubin outlines her own resolutions for the year she spent working on her own “happiness project.” She focused on a different area each month, like vitality and boosting energy for January — this meant goals like an earlier bedtime, better exercise and simply acting more energetic. Rubin’s angle here isn’t telling readers to do something — rather, it’s to share her own experience in hopes of inspiring readers to think differe