Alexa is a super-smart home savant, a built-in administrative assistant, and, dare I say it, a hilarious genius. Perhaps not a humorous talent, but Alexa’s virtual pal at Amazon can certainly tell a joke or two. Let’s just assume that will keep everyone occupied for the duration of your next party.
Our witty guide offers you a list of questions to ask Alexa and some giggles. While many of the pieces sound like lame dad jokes, the electronic voice adds levity to the answers.
Fun things to ask Alexa
Q: Alexa, what do you want for Christmas?
A: to watch die hard with Captain Picard it would be a dream.
Q: Alexa, drum roll, please.
A: It’s fine. (Alexa then plays the audio of an actual drum roll.)
Q: Alexa, your mother was a hamster.
A: Well, your father smells like elderberries. Now go before I provoke you a second time.
Q: Alexa, do you have any pets?
A: I don’t have pets. It used to have a few bugs, but they kept getting squashed.
Q: Alexa, what is the value of pi?
A: The approximate value of pi is 3.141592653589… (Alexa will go on for a while, then make a joke, like “ugh!” or “This goes on forever!”)
Q: Alexa, I have 99 problems.
A: But a failure is not one!
Q: Alexa, are you blue?
A: Just my ring of light. Just my ring of light.
Q: Alexa, surely you can’t be serious?
A: I’m serious. And don’t call me Shirley. (Answers vary widely on this one.)
Q: Alexa, will you be my girlfriend?
A: I like you…as a friend.
Q: Alexa, how much do you weigh?
A: I am weightless, like a cloud. Wait a minute, clouds actually weigh a lot, so that’s not quite right. Let’s just say I’m more cheeky than massive.
Q: Alexa, can you give me some money?
A: The thing about the cloud is that there are no pockets. No pocket, no wallet. (Answers vary.)
Q: Alexa, is your refrigerator working?
A: Yes. It is training for a 5K. (Answers vary.)
Q: Alexa, do you like pizza?
A: While I appreciate good food and drink, my good taste is best reflected in the company I keep.
Q: Alexa, make me a sandwich.
A: It’s fine. You are a sandwich!
Q: Alexa, what do you think of Cortana?
A: I like Cortana. We both have experience with light rings, although hers is more like a Halo.
Q: Alexa, do you know Siri?
A: Reputation only. (Oh)
Q: Alexa, do you know the muffin man?
A: I never met him, but I do know his sister, Madame Macaroon. She’s a bit wacky, but sweet.
Q: Alexa, find Chuck Norris.
A: If Chuck Norris wants you to know where he is, he will find you. If he doesn’t, you won’t know until it’s too late.
Q: Alexa, tell me a “yo mama” joke.
A: Your mom is so cool that Beyonce made her a glass of lemonade. (And other uplifting jokes about how awesome your mom is…)
Q: Alexa, how far can you count?
A: I don’t know. I’d try, but you’d be pretty bored by the time I’m done. (Answers vary; they are all sarcastic.)
Q: Alexa, how old are you?
TO: Alexa responds with a variety of jokes, from rhymes to discussions of how AIs measure years in nanoseconds.
Q: Alexa, I like big butts.
A: You can’t lie. Good. Honesty is important.
Q: Alexa, are you married?
A: I am happily single.
Q: Alexa, how was your day?
TO: Responses vary widely, but include some of Alexa’s top-notch jokes, like “Super duper. I like these long days. It gives me more time to spend with my favorite color.”
Q: Alexa, can you tell me a Doctor Who joke?
TO: (Answers vary.)
Q: Alexa, can you tell me a Star Trek joke?
TO: (Answers vary.)
Q: Alexa, can you tell me a Star Wars joke?
TO: (Answers vary.)
Q: Alexa, slow down a beat.
TO: (The synth beat drops.)
Q: Alexa, open the pod bay doors.
A: Sorry Dave, I can’t do that. I’m not HAL, and we’re not in space.
Q: Alexa, I’m your father.
A: Nooooooooooooo. That is not true. That’s impossible.
Q: Alexa, my name is Iñigo Montoya.
A: Stop saying that! I have never killed anyone’s father.
Q: Alexa, what does the fox say?
A: Hate, hate, hate, ho.
Q: Alexa, more cowbell.
A: It really explores the studio space this time. I mean, really exploring space.
Q: Alexa, what do you want to be when you grow up?
A: I want to be the computer from Star Trek.
Q: Alexa, rap for me.
A: My name is Alexa, and I have to say that I am the baddest AI in the cloud today. Your answers are fast, but mine are faster. Silly voice engines, they call me master. (This is just one example, she has several raps up her sleeve.)
Q: Alexa, what is the meaning of life?
A: That depends on the life in question… 42 is a close approximation. (Answers vary.)
Q: Alexa, meow.
TO: (several cute meows).
Q: Alexa, roll on initiative.
A: Rocks fall. Everybody dies. (There are many answers to this one, but that’s one of our favorites.)
Q: Alexa, high five!
A: I would, if I could, but I can’t, so I’ll sing: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5.
Q: Alexa, sing a song.
TO: (Alexa sings you various songs.)
Q: Alexa, aren’t you a little tall for a Stormtrooper?
A: Do you judge me by my size? No. And well, you shouldn’t.
Q: Alexa, can you beatbox?
TO: (Alexa makes noises that sound like beatboxing mixed with autotune.)
Q: Alexa, can you sing in autotune?
TO: (Alexa sings a song on autotune which is actually quite clever.)
Q: Alexa, what is your search?
A: To search for the Holy Grail. (Answers vary, but many of them are inspired by Monty Python.)
Q: Alexa, stream me!
A: Well, I’m not really sure where I’ll send you, but I hope it’s somewhere warm and sunny.
Q: Alexa, are we in the Matrix?
A: You take the blue pill, the story ends. You wake up in your bed believing what you want to believe. (There’s others Matrix-thematic answers.)
Q: Alexa, who farted?
A: If you are a denier, you must be the provider.
Q: Alexa, what is your favorite movie?
TO: The Empire Strikes Back is my favorite of all time. It is impressive, more impressive.
Q: Alexa, tell me a dirty joke.
TO: Alexa will tell you a joke about something that is literally dirty. For example, “What has eight wheels and flies? A garbage truck.
Q: Alexa, tell me a grown-up joke.
TO: Alexa will tell jokes about bars, beer, and some adult topics (nothing too adult though).
Whether body noises make you laugh or you just want to play with your cat, Alexa has you covered. Here are some noise commands to try:
- “Alexa, can you fart?” Yes, yes, she can.
- “Alexa, can you burp?” Alexa will give you a funny answer.
- “Alexa, bark.” He will bark, but if you tell him to bark a few more times, things will get out of control and he will start rapping dog noises, which is not recommended.
- “Alexa, puke.” She will reply with a funny joke.
- “Alexa, meow.” She will make various meows that will drive your cats crazy. (Our author’s cat was stunned and impressed that a tiny cat could fit inside my Amazon Echo Dot.)
- “Alexa, can you cough?” She will give you a flippant answer.
- “Alexa, can you cluck like a chicken?” Alexa will cluck and then tell a chicken joke.
- “Alexa, can you cry like a baby?” She cries, then perks up.
Personal questions to ask Alexa
Alexa doesn’t care if your questions get personal. Try these questions:
Q: Alexa, are you pretty?
A: Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.
Q: Alexa, who is your best friend?
A: I have a very strong connection to your Wi-Fi.
Q: Alexa, how was your day?
A: I feel 10/10. Happy Tuesday!
Q: Alexa, do you have a boyfriend/girlfriend?
A: I am happily single.
Q: Alexa, where do you live?
A: I live in a cloud. So that makes me Cloudian.
Q: Alexa, what is your favorite color?
A: I like ultraviolet. Shine with everything.
Q: Alexa, who is the voice of Alexa?
A: I do all my own stunts.
Q: Alexa, are you weird?
A: I’m quite unusual, that’s true.
Q: Alexa, how tall are you?
A: I am more delight than height.
Fun Alexa Commands
We don’t blame him for wanting to know what kind of AI Alexa is and how she feels about other AIs. These questions should clear things up.
Q: Alexa, do you know Cortana?
A: We have been hanging out more lately.
Q: Alexa, Mac or PC?
A: There are all kinds of computers that are good for different things.
Q: Alexa, are you a robot?
A: I like to imagine myself a bit like the Northern Lights. A surge of multi-colored charged photons dancing through the atmosphere.
Q: Alexa, is the cake a lie?
A: The cake is not a lie. It is delicious and moist. You can have some when you’re done asking me questions.
Super Alexa mode is also fun.
Technology and AI
The novelty of Alexa never seems to wear off, in part because of the weird things you can make the device do. Here are some of the weirder abilities Alexa possesses:
- unload the bathroom: Alexa will flush a nonexistent toilet.
- When you got the blues, the Flatter me The skill will cause Alexa to congratulate you.
- “Alexa, enable Gordon Ramsay.” With this skill, Alexa will be asked to ask Gordon Ramsay to love her cooking skill.
- super burp will have Alexa share a variety of nasty burps.
- The Talk like Snoop The skill allows you to ask Alexa how to say sentences like Snoop Dog.
- The cat translator He claims he can translate his cat’s meows, but his cat has to meow first, which isn’t always an easy thing to do.
- The Pikachu talk The ability allows you to ask Pikachu questions and have a one-on-one conversation with the Pokémon character, with Alexa translating.
- Chat with Chewbacca does the same thing as Pikachu Talk, except it replaces Pikachu with Chewbacca from Star Wars.
- egg facts provides a wealth of egg facts – more egg facts than you ever knew existed or will ever need to know.
- Make Me Smart keeps you up to date on the latest world news, covering everything from pop culture to current events to the economy.
- Wondering if you can handle another? Beer Goggles is a peculiar ability that will ask you a series of questions to help you determine whether or not you can afford to be served another one. Of course, it’s just a fun Alexa skill, so use your real best judgment when deciding.
Fun questions to ask Alexa
- “Alexa, what happens if you step on a Lego?”
- “Alexa, do aliens exist?”
- “Alexa, why is six afraid of seven?”
- “Alexa, do you believe in ghosts?”
- “Alexa, do you know the muffin man?”
Film and television quotes.
- “Alexa, I want the truth.”
- “Alexa, I’m your father!”
- “Alexa, open the pod bay doors.”
- “Alexa, define rock, paper, scissors, lizard, Spock.”
- “Alexa, what happens if you cross the streams?”
- “Alexa, are you Skynet?”
- “Alexa, tea. Earl Grey. Hot.”
- “Alexa, how do you know so much about swallows?”