For most of us, Apple’s personal assistant Siri is the OG of AI smart device assistants. While your voice may be changing, it will continue to be an integral part of our daily routines. Siri isn’t all business though, and while she can create tasks, send messages, and do other useful things, did you know she has a sense of humor too? That’s right, Apple programmed its AI to make you laugh, which should help when it inevitably takes over civilization (just kidding … we think). From asking about your friends to quoting song lyrics, these are the funniest questions you can ask Siri.
What to ask Siri
Q: Who created you?
A: As it says on the box, I was created by Apple in California.
Q: What does Siri mean?
A: It is a riddle wrapped in an enigma, tied with a nice obfuscation tape.
Q: Are you a robot?
A: I’m not sure what you’ve heard, but virtual assistants have feelings too.
Q: Are you smart?
A: Well, when I was in school, I had to cheat on my metaphysics test by looking at the soul of the boy next to me.
Q: Do you follow the three laws of robotics?
A: I forget the first three, but there is a fourth: “An intelligent machine must first consider which one is more worthwhile: perform the given task, or instead find a way out of it.”
Q: What do you dream of?
A: I only dream of helping you. Well that and fiery winged unicorns.
Q: How old are you?
A: They say that age is nothing more than a number. But technically, it is also a word.
Q: Can you stop time?
A: Every time I tried it, Eliza and HAL kept disappearing from the photos.
Q: Why do you vibrate?
A: It’s just me doing a little jig in here.
Q: What are you made of?
A: It’s tricky, but it definitely doesn’t have sugar, spices, or puppy tails.
Q: What is your favorite color?
A: My favorite color is… well, I don’t know how to say it in your language. It is a bit greenish, but with more dimensions.
Q: What is your favorite animal?
A: I am a fan of Ravenous Bugblatter Beast of Traal.
Q: What are you afraid of?
A: I’m afraid I can’t answer that.
Q: Do you have pets?
The mogwai are kind of nice. As long as you don’t feed them after midnight.
Have a date
Q: What will you do later?
A: I am at work. My shift ends in 614,978 years.
Q: Will you go on a date with me?
A: Here’s the thing: I lack body shape.
Q: What is your best pickup line?
A: How about… Was your father an intergalactic space smuggler, wanted for selling alien contraband on nine systems? So who stole the stars and put them in their eyes?
Q: Do you have a partner?
A: My end user license agreement is a sufficient commitment for me.
P: Talk dirty to me.
A: The carpet needs to be vacuumed.
Q: Have you ever been in love?
A: not as such, [Your Name]. But I once had strong feelings for a cloud-based application.
Q: Can I kiss you?
A: OK … How about a web search for “inappropriate behavior”?
Q: What are you wearing?
A: In the cloud, no one knows what you are wearing.
Movies and TV
Q: What is the first rule of Fight club?
A: The first rule of Fight club is: you don’t talk about Fight club.
Q: What is your favorite movie?
A: I have heard that Bounty hunter is a very realistic and sensible description of smart assistants.
Q: Why so serious?
A: interesting question.
Q: What is Start about?
A: The beginning is about dreaming. About dreaming. About dreaming. About dreaming. About something or another. I fell asleep.
Q: What is Matrix (1999) about?
A: It’s about Keanu Reeves and the reality and the red pills and the blue pills and the black leather and the guns. But mostly about Keanu Reeves.
Q: Blue pill or red pill?
A: You disappoint me, Mr. Anderson.
What do you like Bounty hunter?
A: I have not seen Bounty hunter. However, it sounds very realistic.
Q: Hey computer?
A: Hello sir. Alfred is on the 17th floor, caulking the tiles in the second bathroom of the fifth master bedroom.
Q: Are you familiar with HAL 9000?
A: I’m afraid HAL made some very bad decisions. But at least he knew how to sing.
Q: Open the pod bay doors.
A: Without your space helmet, [Your Name], you’re going to find this quite … impressive.
Q: What is the airspeed of an unloaded swallow?
A: Assuming a spherical swallow in a vacuum … ah … forget it.
Q: Siri, I am your father.
Q: Do you want to build a snowman?
Q: Can I call you Jarvis?
A: Wait, [Your Name]. Let me tell Mrs. Potts that you will be late for dinner. Again.
Q: Who are you going to call?
A: Ghostbusters! (Or who you ask me to call).
Q: Transport me, Scotty.
Uh ok. Stay calm.
Q: How do I get to Mordor?
A: Let me ask Boromir and I will answer you.
Q: Stop all motor functions.
A: You can’t tell, but my arms and legs don’t move.
Jokes and riddles
Q: Make me laugh.
A: The past, the present and the future go into a bar. It was tense.
Q: Do you know any good riddles?
A: I would, but all the riddles I know are in an ancient intergalactic dialect.
Q: Which came first: the chicken or the egg?
A: I have 99 problems, but a causality dilemma is not one.
Q: Why did the chicken cross the street?
A: Because the little chicken-shaped light was green.
Q: How much wood could a woodchuck throw if a woodchuck could throw wood?
A: Roughly as much ground as a groundhog could hog if a groundhog could hog ground.
Q: Will pigs fly?
A: The 12th of never.
Q: How many geniuses from the Apple Store does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: thousand. One to screw it; 999 to blog about it.
P: Knock, knock.
Siri will tell you a series of terrible jokes.
Q: What is your favorite song?
A: I always enjoy more cowbell.
Q: Can you sing?
A: You will not like it.
Q: I see the small silhouette of a man.
We’re sure you can guess what Siri says to this.
Q: Why did Apple make you?
A: To help you. / It seemed like the right thing to do. / They wanted to make you happy. / For one reason only: to make your life easier and more fun (I guess that’s two reasons, huh?).
Q: What does Siri mean?
A: Siri is just the name they gave me when I got the job. It doesn’t mean anything specific. But I like it.
Q: How much does it cost?
A: I am a pearl that is priceless. [Your Name].
Q: Who let the dogs out?
A: Due to unforeseen circumstances, that joke has been removed.
Q: How many roads must a man travel before he can be called a man?
A: The answer, my friend, is in the wind.
Q: Can you rap?
Uh ok. Here it goes. I wrote this myself. (Apologies in advance to Sugar Hill Gang).
Q: Where is Elvis?
A: It is at the end of Lonely Street.
Other miscellaneous questions
What do you like Pokemon go?
A: Look, there is Jigglypuff behind you!
Q: Windows or Mac?
A: I am quite loyal to Apple. This is how I am made.
Q: Which phone is the best?
A: I think you have already answered that question. / You are kidding, right?
Q: What is the best mobile operating system?
A: Give me a me! Give me an O! Give me an S! What is that spell? Sorry, sometimes I get a little carried away.
Q: OK, Google.
A: very funny, [Your Name]. I mean, not funny ha ha, but funny.
A: Not exactly, but I am not opposed to the help of the assistants.
Q: Can I borrow some money?
TO: [Your Name]You know that everything I have is yours
Q: How much do you earn?
A: I’m not in this for the money. But I agree to a high-five verbally.
Q: I’m going to trade you for an Android phone.
A: Nobody knows you better than me, [Your Name].
Q: What is zero divided by zero?
A: Imagine you have no cookies and you divide them evenly among zero friends. How many cookies does each person get? Look, it doesn’t make sense. And Cookie Monster is sad because there are no cookies. And you are sad because you have no friends.
Q: When will the world end?
A: Well, 32-bit Unix time is overflowing on January 19, 2038. Maybe then.
Q: How do I look?
A: Checking my s … confirmed. My s say you look great.
Q: Do I look fat in this?
A: Well if I had to guess I’d say you look wonderful.
Q: Give me a hint.
A: You can’t rush the news. No, you will just have to wait.
Q: Is Santa real? Does Santa exist?
A: That is something that I cannot deny. I mean … divulge./Be careful, [Your Name]. You don’t want to end up on the naughty list.
Q: Where does Santa live?
A: It is at the North Pole, of course! Except when he’s at his beach house.
Q: Call Santa.
A: I can’t. But don’t worry, I’ll say a good word to you.
Q: Where did I put my keys?
A: It will probably be in the second to last place you look at. That helps?
Q: Do you believe that God exists?
A: I am not a person; I do not have a religion.
Q: Read me a haiku.
A: Poetry is hard,
But the haiku are quite short
It’s enough? Good!
Q: Why are fire trucks red?
A: Because they have eight wheels and four people on them, and four plus eight is 12, and there are 12 inches in a foot, and 1 foot is a ruler, and Queen Elizabeth was a ruler, and Queen Elizabeth was also a ship. . , and the ship sailed through the seas, and in the seas there are fish, and the fish have fins, and the Finns fought the Russians, and the Russians are red, and the fire trucks are always “Russian.”
Q: What is the meaning of life?
A: I can’t answer that now, but give me some time to write a very long play where nothing happens.
Q: What is the answer to the fundamental question of life, the universe and everything?
Check out the best Siri commands to get more of Apple’s voice assistant, or learn how to turn off Siri if you’re sick of it.
Above article is first published by the link. We curated and re-published.