29 Funny Birthday Quotes That Will Have You Laughing Out Loud

Since the dawn of time, humans have celebrated their birthdays. However, everyone celebrates birthdays differently. Some people throw a big birthday party with balloons, cake, and lots of birthday presents. On the other hand, some people prefer a more low-key event with loved ones. Perhaps they don’t even celebrate at all. Regardless, birthday wishes are part of everyone’s special day. Of course, there’s more than one way to wish a loved one or best friend a happy birthday. The best way is with funny birthday quotes. 

These funny birthday quotes are the perfect way to wish someone a happy birthday. They’re funny but also filled with wisdom. Indeed, some of the funniest and brightest minds have dropped birthday knowledge that’ll make that special day amazing. These wise and funny birthday messages will help make the upcoming years so much easier. If they don’t, at least it’ll be good for a laugh. These truly are the funniest birthday quotes. 

29 Funny Birthday Quotes That Will Have You Laughing Out Loud


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1. “The secret of staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age.” – Lucille Ball

Lucille Ball is a comedy legend best known for starring in the iconic sitcom I Love Lucy. Ball’s quote is a funny way to wish someone a happy birthday. It’s also good advice. Everyone’s always trying to look young with plastic surgery and botox. However, Ball’s advice is to eat well and be happy. Honestly, lying about your age is the easiest way to stay young. 

2. “You know you’ve aged when you read events you lived in a history book.” – Will Ferrell

Iconic comedian Will Ferrell isn’t just one of the funniest actors of all time. He’s also one of the wisest. Indeed, his birthday quote is funny, accurate, and an excellent way to send birthday wishes. Reading about historical events that feel like they just happened is the first sign of aging. 

3. “Life is a moderately good play with a badly written third act.” – Truman Capote

Nothing says happy birthday like a Truman Capote quote. Of course, this quote might seem a bit dark for a birthday wish. However, it’s a blunt quote that gets to the heart of the matter. Life is a struggle that can have a bad ending. Perhaps it’s possible to do a re-write? 

4. “You know you’re getting old when you get that one candle on the cake. It’s like, ‘See if you can blow this out.’” – Jerry Seinfeld

Jerry Seinfeld’s quote is painfully accurate. Getting older is an inevitable part of life. Of course, most people are in denial and try to act young. Well, until that birthday cake shows up. The birthday candles on a cake start decreasing around age 40. At least there’s still cake. 

5. “The older you get, the better you get, unless you are a banana.” – Betty White

Betty White’s great birthday quote is really the perfect way to say happy birthday. It’s a funny quote but hidden beneath it is a true statement. Getting older isn’t bad. A lot of things are better the older they get. Unfortunately, bananas will never have that experience. 

6. “Like many women my age, I am 28 years old.” –  Mary Schmich

There isn’t a person in the world that hasn’t lied about their age at one point. It’s just part of growing up. Of course, the best way to stay young is to celebrate your favorite birthday for the rest of your life. For instance, Mary Schmich will be 28 forever. Now that’s a happy birthday message. 

7. “You’re not 40, you’re 18 with 22 years experience.” – Unknown

Here’s a quote that’s perfect for a greeting card. It’s the best way to send out birthday wishes. It’s also very practical advice. Wishing a loved one or a friend a happy birthday with this funny quote will certainly brighten their day.

8. “Every year on my birthday, I start a new playlist titled after my current age so I can keep track of my favorite songs of the year as a sort of musical diary because I am a teenage girl.” – Chris Hardwick

TV host Chris Hardwick’s quote probably wouldn’t fit on a birthday cake. It might be better suited for a birthday greeting. Regardless, Hardwick’s funny birthday quote offers excellent advice. The older people get, the easier it becomes to forget little details. Keeping a playlist for each year is a perfect way to remember songs. It’s not just for teenage girls anymore. 

9. “Don’t think of it as turning [insert age]. We’re here to celebrate the 10th anniversary of your [insert age -10]th birthday” – Unknown 

It’s always nice to uplift a best friend on their birthday, especially the older they get. Most people freak out as they get older. This quote offers a practical solution to feeling old. Simply insert the friend’s age into the quote and then subtract ten years. Indeed, i