Texting when drunk is never a good idea. Even when the intentions are positive, more often than not it ends in disaster. Alcohol gives us the confidence to say things we never would never normally say. The consequences of these drunk texts are often massive and can lead to all types of drama with your partner, friends, and family.
While the outcome of drunken texts can be devastating, it can also be quite funny. The internet is full of hilarious examples of people shooting off drunk texts that are more on the funnier side of things than hurtful. Some result in witty or disappointing replies from the receiver.
Below are some of the best drunk texts we’ve found on the interwebs. We’ve tried to find texts that are both hysterical and respectful. None of these texts are mean or hurtful, which can often be the case when people drunk text. They are all good-natured jibes that will have you giggling along and making sure you never drunk text again.
1. I Wasn’t That Drunk. I Drove Home
BoredPanda
How wasted was this dude? It’s one thing not to remember driving home, but another to think you dreamt about what actually happened.
2. Celebrating Grandma’s Birthday
@itscabbie/Twitter
This young woman celebrated her Grandma’s 88th birthday by sending her this drunken text. As you can see by the response, it probably wasn’t a good idea. Grandma was not impressed.
3. When You Reply To Your Own Text
@losingseIf/Twitter
You have had to have had more than one drink for this to occur. It’s hard to fathom how drunk a person would have to be to reply to themselves, but as you can see, it actually happened.
4. Not All Police Are Bad
@DeaditeQueen/Reddit
Imagine waking up to this message? This guy must regret having such a big night that he had to be taken home by the police. Plus, repeatedly telling them you are not a terrorist is a strange conversation topic.
5. Tampon Ghosts
The Sun
I’m not sure tampons look like ghosts, but this text message begs to differ. While not actually sent during a big night, it does reveal what went on when one person had a little too much alcohol.
6. Not the Right One
BuzzFeed
Sometimes it takes a big night of drinking to realize the true feelings you have for someone. Sharing that in a drunk text message isn’t advised unless it’s a bit funny like this one.
7. When Mom’s All About the Money
@amdamnber/Twitter
This isn’t the response you would expect to get from a mom after she receives this type of text. Go mom!
8. Gurl, U Got Da Wrong Number
BoredPanda
Some of the best drunk texts come from people sending messages to the wrong number. Imagine getting a message like this. Chock full of typos and nearly unreadable. Do love the witty reply at the end though.
9. Search Moana on PornHub
@toreeehhh/Twitter
Here’s hoping this drunk texter’s mom didn’t go through with the search. She might have been very surprised at what she found.
10. I’m Batman!
This guy must have a very understanding girlfriend. There aren’t too many women that would put up with random texts like this in the middle of the night. It makes for a funny drunk text though.
11. Me 2 Mom
BoredPanda
Who else has a mom who gets on the wine and likes to start drunk texting? This conversation could have gone downhill fast, but thankfully the son or daughter didn’t get offended by the text.
12. This Guy Needs Help
BoredPanda
There are so many questions concerning this text. Why was he in a wolf costume? What is the reason he’s eating chow mein alone? Why is he talking to himself? This drunk person sounds like someone who has a problem with alcohol, as the restaurant employee explains. Problematic drinking isn’t a laughing matter, but there’s a chance this fella just had a rather big night and isn’t like this all the time.
13. Million Dollar Idea
BuzzFeed
You always come up with good ideas when you are drunk, although this idea sounds very familiar. Grand Theft Auto with horses… Sounds like Red Dead Redemption. Maybe drunk texting doesn’t always pay off with new ideas, especially for this dude, who thinks his bank account is about to quadruple in size.
14. Cheesy Chips Are Always Good
BoredPanda
This chain of funny texts between a drunk person and a member of BooHoo’s help team is wonderfully sincere. Why this person is texting customer service at 2 AM is anyone’s guess, but it is a great text exchange that makes you wish everyone was that nice when drunk. You just know Abul would make a fantastic friend in the real world too.
15. Am I a Dragon?
Ranker
This drunk text exchange is hilarious. This person got stuck into the vodka (better than whiskey) and now thinks they are a dragon. Somebody has been watching too much Game of Thrones.
16. Mom Loves a Drink
@YourBoyGerald/Twitter
Why does it always seem to be moms who drunk text? This lady can’t even remember sending her son a picture of herself she’s that out of it. She’s lucky she hasn’t sent out any other personal information that could be embarrassing for her. This is why you should stay away from your phone when on the booze.
17. When Drinking Is a Mistake
BoredPanda
Getting drunk always seems fun at the time. It’s the hangover that reminds you that playing a drinking game or knocking back too many alcoholic beverages can have a negative impact. It can also lead to drunk texting, with the above texts showing the good and bad of boozing.
18. We Need To Watch Titanic
@highwayromantic/Twitter
When you drunk text your family members in a group text telling them you need to organize a Titanic viewing party. Well, it’s better than a drunk dial or a phone call.
19. How Not To Deal With Problems
@LifeWithAlcohol/Twitter
When you need some liquid courage before you have a serious chat with your partner. It’s not the worst thing you could do, but it will probably lead to a drunk text or two that might reveal some information you don’t want to.
20. Text Message Mixup
BoredPanda
When you drunk text the wrong friend. At least it wasn’t anything horrible, with old mate Dean seemingly ok about the mixup. This type of text message exchange is very common. It’s very easy to accidentally send a message to the wrong number, especially when you have had a few cold ones. Just be mindful of who you are messaging and what you are saying, otherwise, you might end up on a list like this.
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